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Bill Mahers latest jokes

"Jesus hung out with the poor.  He was friends with a hooker.  He was compassionate.  If the republicans want a spokesman, try god.  The man who punishes people for not obeying him"  "An impressive escalating economy and 8 years of peace can be disregarded by getting a blow job." "The NRA's solution to guns is more guns.  That is always good for students in school shottings, crossfire." "Ever compare the bible to your fiary tales?  Is a wolf talking less believable than a snake?  A girl being awoken by a kiss vrs a guy living in a fish.  They both had poison apples."  "There are 80 million types of insects and yet a senior citizen grabbed two of each and had them fucking on a boat?"



"What would you rather do, live as a monster or die as a good man?"


You like to think you are the best part of me but I confess, there is nothing left of you here.


Pardon me for saying so but you look more pitiful than I had ever imagined despite perfect fashion. And your photographs depict you so differently I always thought you would be, some sort of match for me.



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